you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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