So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
