It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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