aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize