I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
