Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
