is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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