I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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