so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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