whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
