sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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