i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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