Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My vagina just recognized that song.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
