Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
this hospital has no fireball
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
