You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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