I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
well I can't set my house on fire every night
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
