I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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