how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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