can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
