Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
