I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
