I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
