shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
