I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
