bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
