How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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