Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
