It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
