He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
