Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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