mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just found puke in my bra..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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