i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
