Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
