At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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