My first STD was from a foam party
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
