Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
