I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
