like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
