I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
