Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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