Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
