well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
