Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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