Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
