I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
