all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
