when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
