yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
