Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
