What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
