i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
how does that bad decision feel?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
