ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
