In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
