small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
