We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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