I need help removing her.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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