Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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