she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
