I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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