She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
