wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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