He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
