We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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