I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
