So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
