isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
