put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I want to make a zoo with you.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
