You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize